Lazy boyfriend gifts woman a silverware set for Christmas after she spends $300 on thoughtful gifts for him, he claims cutlery was a gift for ‘both’ of them

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jan 1, 2025 8:00 PM EST

First thing first: Gift-giving is not always about monetary value. If there's one thing that the ladies can agree on, it's that we want our partners to know us and understand what we like. Our tastes can be expensive or budget-friendly—all that matters is that we feel seen and understood! Gift-giving is a good way to gauge this, especially in relationships. In the first few Christmases you share with your special someone, you might notice some trial and error. But that's the beauty of a relationship! You're always finding out something new about them.

The woman in this story lost it when her boyfriend gifted her a cutlery set after she spent $300 on gifts she knew he would like. When she confronts him about the gift choice, he doubles down and says it was a gift for the both of them…

They ultimately understood each other, but let this be story be a lesson for folks who might be running to gift their significant other a household item (that they didn't ask for).

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    Cheezburger Image 10447741696
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+
  • 02
    My boyfriend (32m) got me (26f) silverware for Christmas. He thinks im being dramatic but am I?
    via Virtual-Ordinary5798
  • 03
    My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. This year was our first Christmas together, and I wanted to make it special for him. So, I got him some nice date-night
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    clothes, a good cologne, and an appointment at the nicest massage place in town. I spent around $300. I was really hoping he would put as much thought into my gift as I did into his.
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  • 05
    When we started unwrapping our gifts, I noticed that all I got was silverware. Heavy, bulky silverware. I asked him, "Is this it?" and he said yes. I started to cry and
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    asked him, "Why silverware?" He replied, "Well, a few months ago, you complained about us not having enough silverware. So this is a gift for both you and me."
    via Virtual-Ordinary5798

  • This is a typical cop-out answer, unfortunately. The “it's for the both of us” thing doesn't slide with anyone, let alone a scorned woman who is about to unleash their wrath on you for gifting her a cooking tool. 1950s-esque gifting method aside, he tried to back himself up which backfired. What would he think the OP's response was going to be if he admitted it was a gift for the both of them?

    The OP happily got to know what her boyfriend likes and prefers, but it seems he could not do the same for her. Giving him a piece of her mind might be necessary to rewire her boyfriend's understanding of gift-giving, which seems to mean a lot to her.

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    I lost it. I cried hard because never in my life have I received silverware as a gift. He then said he would buy me clothes if I didn't like the silverware. I
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    told him that wasn't the point. He called me dramatic, and I told him that next year, I would buy him silverware for Christmas. He said no because we already have some.
    via Virtual-Ordinary5798
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    I didn't talk to him for the rest of the evening. I went to bed crying because I truly feel like he doesn't care about me. Am I being dramatic?
    via Virtual-Ordinary5798
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    edit Let me explain a little more about my gifts. I chose my gifts for him because he's been asking for those items/massage for months. I got everything he asked for. I did get him a new
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    headset as well, but literally a day before Christmas. He bought himself a new one because he felt he needed to buy it. So mine is going to be returned.
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    I got everything he wanted down to the right brand. I did not change his style or his smell to suit my needs. It's literally what he wanted.
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    He did give me the receipt for his silverware gift. He bought the "gift" a day before Christmas. So, in my own opinion, I feel like he forgot and panicked, bought whatever, and used "you
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    said we needed silverware" as an excuse. We did have wish lists for each other. While my wish list did have more practical gifts for our house. Silverware was not one of them. I know I was
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    a little dramatic, but y'all, I'm pregnant. Edit 12/27 So, this is going to be my last edit. I don't know why I need to explain this, but the pregnancy was completely accidental.
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    It's no one's fault, and no baby trapping was involved. Okay, moving on... How is this your first Christmas together? Last year, he was visiting
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    his parents, and I was in a different country. Confronting my boyfriend: I did talk to my boyfriend about it. He was a bit upset that I asked for advice on Reddit, but I
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    said, "You got me silverware... what did you expect?" He got a little annoyed and read through all the comments.
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    He said, "I got so much hate because I got you something you complained about months ago?" I replied, "While you did get a household item, it wasn't anything
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    meaningful or thoughtful that I would've wanted. I would've been okay with something basic, as long as it was something I could use and love." He responded, "Well, technically, you love
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    cooking, and you will use it. We all will use it. So, I'm in the right." I eventually asked, "Do you think your mom would appreciate silverware as a Christmas or birthday gift? Or your sisters? How do you think
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    they would feel?" It finally clicked for him, and he said, "No... they wouldn't." He left and came back with the Yellowstone collection plates I had wanted.
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    We decided to keep the silverware because, while I don't like it, we do actually need it. He's also going to buy me the Oura ring I've been wanting, too.
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    I saw a lot of comments saying, "Silverware is expensive!" Guys, I'm sorry that I don't know a difference from silverware and flatware. The set he got me was 45 piece stainless steel with a serving set.
    via Virtual-Ordinary5798
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    . Fragrant-Duty... 21h ago. "A gift for both you and me" is not really a gift for you. You're not being dramatic - hes cks.
    via Fragrant-Duty-9015
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    ScammerC · 18h ago . You're pregnant? Next year he gets diapers for Christmas! It's something you can both use! So practical! Seriously. I get it. My husband wrapped up a mop one year, 30 years ago. I still remember.
    via ScammerC

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Dating-Relationships boyfriend christmas relationship advice gifts presents drama relationship-drama gift reddit story relationships christmas presents advice relationship feud Reddit dating
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